Coping with Stress

by Moody Amarante (BPRW)

While there is no definitive definition for stress, people tend to feel it when they cannot handle the demands put upon them. But if you think you’re the only one stressing out, you wrong. Everyone experiences stress. The key is how to deal and manage it effectively. In the deadline driven craziness of the 21st century, African Americans are no strangers to stress. While there are many sources of stress in our lives, stress is generally driven by work, money and health and family concerns. Stress can lead to unhealthy eating habits, headaches and inactivity. So before you dig out that pint of ice cream as “comfort food,” here are some tips for how to cope with that underlying stress.

Work issues lie behind most of the stress we experience. Whether it’s an under-appreciative boss, an uncomfortable environment or a difficult co-worker, 59% of Americans say work is their most frequent cause of stress. Many people feel that the immense stress added from their work environments take tremendous tolls on their lives. Some examples of work stress are as follows. Suppose your boss was supposed to give you a raise months ago and has failed to do so. This might cause you to get frustrated. Especially with rising gas prices and inflation, you feel you should be rewarded for your continuous good work. Another example of significant work stress may be dealing with an inadequate superior who may thrive on power and authority but is not fit for their position. This frustration may lead a person to quit or even worse, cause a scene. However, there are ways not to let your job get the best of you. According to the Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook by Martha Davis, a useful approach to coping with work stress is using the LADDER mnemonic, which is described as a six-stage process for handling problems in an assertive way. They are:

L - Look at your rights and what you want, and understand your feelings about the situation
A - Arrange a meeting with the other person to discuss the situation
D - Define the problem specifically
D - Describe your feelings so that the other person fully understands how you feel about the situation
E - Express what you want clearly and concisely
R - Reinforce the other person by explaining the mutual benefits of adopting the site of action you are suggesting.

For more in-depth details about each step, purchase the Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook at Amazon.com.

We all know how unpleasant excessive stress can be. Dealing with it in a positive way is what makes the difference between a walk on the beach and a bag of Cheetos. Using some stress reduction techniques, I have personally reduced my stress amount tremendously. Mindtools.com, a stress management website, offers several helpful tips about how to deal with stress. One such way to deal is by using affirmations. Affirmations help build self-confidence and can reduce negative thinking so that no damage is done to your self-confidence. Below are some examples of assertive phrases you can say to yourself when your stress is in overdrive.

Feelings of inadequacy: “I am well trained for this! I have the experience, the tools and the resources I need. I have thought through and prepared for all possible issues. I can do a superb job.

Worries about performance: “I have researched and planned well for this, and I thoroughly understand the problem. I have the time, resources and help I need. I am well prepared to do an excellent job.

Problems issues outside your control: “We have thought through everything that might reasonably happen and have planned how we can handle all likely contingencies. Everyone is ready to help where necessary. We are very well placed to react flexibly and effectively to unusual events.”

Worry about other people’s reaction: “I am well-prepared and am doing the best I can. Fair people will respect this. I will rise above any unfair criticism in a mature and professional way.”

If appropriate, write these affirmations down so that you can use them when you need them!

Another way to help cope with stress is keeping a stress journal. For one week, note which events and situations cause a negative physical, mental or emotional response. Record the date and the time! Give a brief description of the situation. Where were you? Who was involved? What seemed to cause the stress? Also, describe your reaction. What were your physical symptoms? How did you feel? What did you say or do? Finally, on a scale of 1 (not very intense) to 5 (very intense), rate the intensity of your stress.

If you notice that over a period of time, you become constantly irritable, frustrated, sarcastic and angry then you are heading quickly towards a “burnout”. A burnout can affect your professional and personal relationships and even your life. Some strategies to use to overcome your burnout are:

Take care of yourself. Eat regular, balanced meals, including breakfast. Get adequate sleep and exercise.
Develop friendships at work and outside the office. Sharing unsettling feelings with people you trust is the first step toward resolving them. Minimize activities with "negative" friends who only reinforce bad feelings.
Take time off. Take a vacation or a long weekend. During the workday, take short breaks.
Set limits. When necessary, learn to say no in a friendly but firm manner.
Choose battles wisely. Don't rush to argue every time someone disagrees with you. Keep a cool head, and save your argument for things that really matter. Better yet, try not to argue at all.
Have an outlet. Read, enjoy a hobby, exercise or get involved in some other activity that is relaxing and gets your mind off work.
Seek help. If none of these things relieves your feelings of stress or burnout, ask a health care professional for advice.

Stress symptoms should not take over your life. Living a problem-free life is something everyone wishes they could have, but unfortunately, this is just not the case. The most important thing to remember is to breathe. Life can be overwhelming, so just take a few minutes out of your day and breathe. You can overcome stress - don’t let stress overcome you! If you want more help coping with stress, visit coping.org or make an appointment with your medical physician.